The GOP To Host NFL Offensive Line Camps

At first glance I couldn't believe it either. But as I learned more then it became more clear why it was perfectly believable. Now I know what you're thinking, so stop thinking it. Not a single GOP holding elected office, pundit, or strategists have an ounce of athletic ability. It all started with Jeff Davidson the Minnesota Vikings offensive line coach who came up with this brilliant idea. "It was really kinda funny how it just popped in my head" says Davidson of his brainchild. 

This is how Davidson claim it all came about... I was sitting on the couch one night, it's the off-season, but I'm still thinking of how dismally our offensive line performed last season. If any defensive line was a white hot fire poker our offensive line was soft shave ice. So I'm looking at fellow Minnesotan Ed Schultz who's a huge Vikings fan and what I saw on his show not only shocked, but amazed me. No matter if a bill was going to provide healthcare to uninsured people who're sick, employ people who're looking for work, help people who're losing their house keep their homes, improve education, streamline transportation, no matter what the benefit was to the American people they BLOCKED IT! But the real kicker was when I found out that the night of President Obama's inauguration the the GOP held a special dinner gathering with the sole purpose of BLOCKING anything and everything the newly elected President wanted to do. Whether it helped the country or not. It didn't matter just do not cooperate with this President in any form or fashion and BLOCK! 

Davidson even heard there was one gentleman at this dinner that stood up and asked... "Wait! I've got a few questions before we do this...." He then asked....

What if it's our own idea? The retort was... BLOCK IT! 

What if it actually assist sick people? BLOCK IT!

What if it helps feed hungry children? BLOCK IT!

What if it helps the homeless get shelter? BLOCK IT!

What if it helps those not affluent get good education? BLOCK IT!

What if it makes us more money? Then he was posed with, "That depends on whether it makes the President look good or not. If it does... BLOCK IT!"

Davidson then thought to himself "WHOA! I mean there is a dark side of humanity that could let a person watch a thousand nuns and orphans starve to death while gluttonously feasting before them. Then there's the depraved, demented, sheer evil of the GOP!" I mean forget the fact that there was a foreclosure crisis, record unemployment, a broken educational system, a broken healthcare system, and a frivolous unpaid for war all going on, they simply want to make their opponent look bad and WIN! While this is disgustingly baleful for politics it's just the mental edge my players need when going up against defensive linemen. 

So Davidson made the call and for a nominal fee, the GOP (while possessing no athletic accolades whatsoever, but are experts on BLOCKING) agreed to host these NFL offensive line camps, but showed much disdain for helping "union workers" in any form or fashion. The 2012 NFL season shall tell whether the experiment will pay off.