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Wednesday, June 27, 2012

The GOP To Host NFL Offensive Line Camps

At first glance I couldn't believe it either. But as I learned more then it became more clear why it was perfectly believable. Now I know what you're thinking, so stop thinking it. Not a single GOP holding elected office, pundit, or strategists have an ounce of athletic ability. It all started with Jeff Davidson the Minnesota Vikings offensive line coach who came up with this brilliant idea. "It was really kinda funny how it just popped in my head" says Davidson of his brainchild. 

This is how Davidson claim it all came about... I was sitting on the couch one night, it's the off-season, but I'm still thinking of how dismally our offensive line performed last season. If any defensive line was a white hot fire poker our offensive line was soft shave ice. So I'm looking at fellow Minnesotan Ed Schultz who's a huge Vikings fan and what I saw on his show not only shocked, but amazed me. No matter if a bill was going to provide healthcare to uninsured people who're sick, employ people who're looking for work, help people who're losing their house keep their homes, improve education, streamline transportation, no matter what the benefit was to the American people they BLOCKED IT! But the real kicker was when I found out that the night of President Obama's inauguration the the GOP held a special dinner gathering with the sole purpose of BLOCKING anything and everything the newly elected President wanted to do. Whether it helped the country or not. It didn't matter just do not cooperate with this President in any form or fashion and BLOCK! 

Davidson even heard there was one gentleman at this dinner that stood up and asked... "Wait! I've got a few questions before we do this...." He then asked....

What if it's our own idea? The retort was... BLOCK IT! 

What if it actually assist sick people? BLOCK IT!

What if it helps feed hungry children? BLOCK IT!

What if it helps the homeless get shelter? BLOCK IT!

What if it helps those not affluent get good education? BLOCK IT!

What if it makes us more money? Then he was posed with, "That depends on whether it makes the President look good or not. If it does... BLOCK IT!"

Davidson then thought to himself "WHOA! I mean there is a dark side of humanity that could let a person watch a thousand nuns and orphans starve to death while gluttonously feasting before them. Then there's the depraved, demented, sheer evil of the GOP!" I mean forget the fact that there was a foreclosure crisis, record unemployment, a broken educational system, a broken healthcare system, and a frivolous unpaid for war all going on, they simply want to make their opponent look bad and WIN! While this is disgustingly baleful for politics it's just the mental edge my players need when going up against defensive linemen. 

So Davidson made the call and for a nominal fee, the GOP (while possessing no athletic accolades whatsoever, but are experts on BLOCKING) agreed to host these NFL offensive line camps, but showed much disdain for helping "union workers" in any form or fashion. The 2012 NFL season shall tell whether the experiment will pay off.   

 



 







 

Friday, February 10, 2012

President Barack Obama The Failure?!?


That’s right our 44th President has failed! You hear it all the time coming from the right-wing, and you know what? They’re right! He is a failure. Let’s just go down a list of these failures that I’m sure in an election year the GOP should willingly want to exploit….


President Obama FAILED to let America slip into another 1929 type of great depression. The Recovery Act FAILED to keep bleeding over 750,000 jobs a month which was the state America was in when President Obama was sworn in. This also contributed in large part to the 22 straight months of private sector job growth.


President Obama FAILED to let the American automobile industry falter and let America suffer the inability to make automobiles for itself all while letting millions of jobs be lost.


President Obama FAILED to let women unfairly keep taking less pay for doing the same job as their male counterparts by signing the Lily Ledbetter Fair Pay Act.


President Obama FAILED to keep letting health insurance companies ripoff, exploit, and abuse their customers by signing the Affordable Care Act. Now you can no longer be denied insurance because of a pre-existing condition, or simply have your policy cancelled because you got sick.


President Obama FAILED to let our armed forces stay in Iraq forever, like the GOP wanted.


President Obama FAILED to keep medical research in the Stone Age and not put restrictions on stem cell research.


President Obama FAILED to let terrorist leaders run amuck, thus keeping not only America safe but many other countries as well.


President Obama FAILED to let Somali pirates successfully ransom off victims of kidnappings.  


President OBAMA FAILED to let another attempt at a terrorist attack on American soil succeed.


President Obama FAILED to let Osama Bin Laden the perpetrator of the 9/11 attacks stay alive.  


This list could go on, but I’m sure you get the point. Come to think of it, we’d be a lot better off if the previous administration had been such a “FAILURE!”